Monthly Archives: March 2017

Corporate Suits and Corporate Lattes

My latest poetic effort; a tongue-in-cheek reminisce about those times spent in the corporate world from where the obligatory uniform of suit, tie, briefcase and filofax over the years swiftly became, no suit, open-necked shirt, smart phone and man bag.

So pull up a latte or a mocha, throw in a Belgian bun or tuna mayo sarnie or two, and see if any of what passes below stirs a memory – or a shudder!


Corporate suits and corporate lattes

Are so very corporate things,

Symbols of corporate success

And the status that it brings.

As we strive to climb the ladder

Following the path of chosen careers,

Fashions change and then come back

Once in every twenty years.

Yet one thing remains a constant

That with the beverage of our choice,

When we look and ponder the menu

We wait for that little voice.

The one that swirls inside your head

Every time you join the queue,

Latte or mocha, skinny or full fat

What a terrible dilemma for you.

And if you frequent the high street chains

They’ll like as not offer an inducement or three,

For to those wearing the corporate suits

There exists the aura of much easy money.

Now some may think I’m being bitter

Maybe consumed by jealousy,

That the corporate world is now way beyond

Where I once strived to be.

But nothing can further be from the truth

For it as a writer where I prefer to be,

Wearing my Saracens top and track suit bottoms

And holding a mug of Rosy Lee.

 

 

 

 

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A Budget Response to Philip Hammond

Well thank God some of you may say, that that media circus called The Budget has been done and dusted. Political Leaders of all persuasions will doubtless be on the airwaves pouring forth opinions on the what was good and what was bad blah, blah, blah.

I thought I would provide my own poetic response as an alternative to the millions of words and wasted column inches that once read and then forgotten  about, will  either provide emergency toilet paper or means of wrapping vegetable peelings, depending on which one you read.

So here it is my response called simply, Dear Mr Hammond. Enjoy!

Dear Mr Hammond, today your first budget did present

The media scrum did duly assemble, to record this momentous event.

You cut taxes for the already rich, you provided funding for new school starts

Yet once again the poor and sick, bore the brunt of callous tory hearts.

Social care received only a pittance, this much we expected to see

It seems once again goes the mantra, to do sweet FA to help the elderly.

To those with chronic conditions, who can’t work but need to maintain their dignity

Life has now become even harder, thanks to a vindictive DWP.

With money to burn on Trident, and vanity projects like HS2

Little wonder is it then, there’s nothing but contempt for people like you?

A cabinet full of millionaires, cocooned from life’s many pitfalls and strife

Yet for many in our country after today, there’ll be no let-up in their hardship called life.

And to those suffering mental illness, and those living without permanent accommodation

You failed to find adequate funding, to alleviate this blight on our nation.

You put sixty billion aside for Brexit, in case of unforeseen events

Yet your Government reneged on commitments, to refugee children sleeping in tents.

The self-employed got hit with a tax hike, but some pubs got a thousand pound rate relief

You first gave and then you took it away, just like the most opportunistic nightly thief.

You raised the threshold for personal taxation, you even increased the minimum wage

Yet to still call it, National Living, is enough to send me into a rage.

So congratulations Mr Hammond, you strove to do your manful best

For this the last springtime budget, that concept has finally been laid to rest.

We now look forward to Autumn, when the public spending rounds get started

But one thing we can always predict, it’s the ordinary folk who’ll get shafted.

 

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Second Time Around

This is my latest poetic posting which is a tongue-in-cheek reflection on being married for the second time of asking. You might think that after only six months it might be a bit too soon,  but we have been together nearly fifteen years. So read on, and hopefully, some of this may be strike a chord of familiarity.

 

I recently got married again, last year it was in September

A day which for many, we will always certainly remember.

They say things are usually better the second time around,

But can anyone enlighten me with advice that is good and sound?

My dilemma is so acute, I am perplexed and afflicted by confusion

Can a second chance at happy married life be more than just an illusion?

The reason I pose this question in case I forgot to mention,

Is that our current state of happiness, has made us objects of some close attention.

We’d been together a dozen years quite happily living over the brush

We knew we’d tie the knot one day but we weren’t in any rush.

But when the time had come for us to formalise our union,

We didn’t anticipate the obstacles trying to enter into a loving communion.

Because there are a few things to contemplate which may well indeed infuriate

With those with whom perhaps, we are now ready to commiserate.

Firstly changing of one’s status, ladies, you mostly remember what this is

All the bloody hoops you have to jump through, just to become a Mrs!

Passport, Driving Licence, Bank and Credit cards just to mention a few

Then remembering just for convenience, your Facebook, WhatsApp & Twitter too.

Whatever family name you’re changing be it wife to husband’s, or sometimes husband’s to wife,

There’s always some frigging jobsworth, who enjoys being the cause of much strife!

And don’t ever mention the semantics of so-called polite society

For here on display you will find, much in the way of unbridled hypocrisy.

For according to these self-appointed guardians of the morals of our nation

Marriage changes the sin of fornication, into the more acceptable copulation.

When February 14 draws near being married can sometimes be hard

When seeking to buy my beloved that all-important St Valentine’s card.

There’s plenty for girlfriend, boyfriend, one I love & the love of my life,

Yet do you think I can find a decent one, dedicated to my darling wife?

Yet despite all these obstacles, these difficulties which may blighten our way,

Based on present experience I believe I’m in a position to say.

That taking all things into consideration, I can make this statement profound;

Married life does appear to be better, when undertaken the second time round.

 

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